these are my memories; precious memories.

Sunday, April 10, 2005
1:07 PM
insert witty/meaningful title here.*

warcraft three: dota allstars can actually be fun if played properly.

yes, here i am, pointing out my sad inability to bring my level 6 arachnid to any form of glory. perhaps it was because i chose the arachnid in the first place. darn those dark elves, they're supposed to be teh powerforce in warcraft. or so i thought. lesson learnt: if they look cool, they probably suck. nat, make a mental note not to choose anything with more than two legs and four arms. haha.

all in all, i still think cs is the best. haha.. trying to get back o my 'former glory'.. usued to do a hell lot more than 20+ frags. haha. well, now with cs3, the controls are different. the last time i played i spent a whole ten minutes tying to figure out where my beloved mp5 navy was. lots of free frags. ._. and the there's the shotguns and the semi-autos, i can't tell the two apart but i know that the semi-auto, despite its long reloading time, kicks serious butt. man, i have to find out what's the combination for that gun. haha.. back in goodness-knows-when, mp5 navy used to be b-3-1, but now, i still haven't found out what it is. thankfully, all the grenades and armour are still in the same place, b-8. haha.

i'm in another of those 'hey-let's-change-my-blog-template!' moods. help me.

the band forum is starting to flood! haha i wanna post, but somehow i can't find any encouraging words to put on the board.

mmhmm. i haven't been myself lately, have i? or maybe it's just that i'm going back to my old self. the old nat, the one who used to have no social life, visited parkway for the first time only in sec3 even though it was only a few bus stops away. the one who used to be quiet, withdrawn, and somewhat antisocial. the one who never smiled. haha a lot of my classmates from sec4 told me that i should smile more. hmm. well, when i came to jc i decided i was going to be a whole new nat. one who didn't have any qualms about doing crazy stuff in front of people, who didn't care what people thought or said, who was going to make people remember her, who was going to be so enthusiastic about everything. haha, i guess that all this enthusiasm had to burn out sometime. just had to be now, didn't it? sigh. and then there's the stress of the upcoming syf. my juniors are freaking out and i'm doing all i can to keep them together, when i myself feel like i'm falling apart. i'm not even sure what's tearing at me. it's crazy. insane.

*runs out of things to say*

it's at times like this, i feel so tired. it's times like this, that i don't want to continue. it's times like this, i wish i could just sleep, then awaken full of energy and ready to meet the day and it's challenges like i used to, instead of gearing myself up for another grueling day of lessons. i miss the cheer in class. i miss the crap. i miss the days when i could cry. because, after forcing myself not to cry for so long, i fear i've forgotten how to.

scary, isn't it?

anyway. thanks to michelle ngiam and sam for supporting me. =) i know you miss the bubbly me, believe me, i miss her too. i just hope i can go back to the way i was. i guess it's just pre-syf pressure, on top of an extra subject, and extra responsibilities as c-rep of s29. stress. hais. maybe it's knowing that syf's so close, and yet i'm still screwing up bars 1 and 2 of gloriosa, or not being able to pitch the stupid low g at bars 176-177 and play in tune. maybe it's the fact that i'm an actual sars(stupid and retarded student) because i can't hear he organ sound, not even when dr lee points it out. remember on friday when he kept pointing it out at 177? i couldn't hear it at all. how stupid is that? i bet everyone else knows how it sounds like except me. sighs. i wanna go stone at the beach one day, before the syf, and find some way to release all this fustration that's building up inside me. find some way to relax.

*takes deep breaths*

thanks again to michelle and sam. *hugs* i love you guys.. you're the absolute greatest. *tries to smile*

oh, someone help me.

the memories
so dear