these are my memories; precious memories.

Friday, December 31, 2004
4:36 PM
wah*

Wah.. So anticlimax.. Hahahaha..

Somehow I feel that after not talking to Peter for a long time that he's changed lol. I dunno.. Haha sometimes he really scares me xD I don't know if he's serious sometimes hahah but that's okayy. He's still fun! =)

Fun fun fun fun fun. =) Wahahahah. I can't stop laughing.

Anyway. Sunday. Me, Guanyu, Wenrong. Kallang. Studying. xD so anticlimax to our supposed Group Outing lolx.. Hahahahahah.

=) Whee. I can sense Fun 2005 coming!

I. Want. Tuba. Ehehehehehhe. Please??

*grins crazily*

the memories
so dear

3:01 PM
-big smile-*

And suddenly, I'm happy again. =)

My life is like a roller coaster.

And I shall use visual representations more, they get the message across faster than I would ever have hoped. =)

the memories
so dear

11:34 AM
whao.*

Man. I wish that never has to happen again.

-is needing someone to talk to-

Okay nevermind. Shall go play Maple or something maybe.

On the seventh day of christmas
my true love gave to me
seven swans a-swimming
six geese a-laying
five golden rings
four calling birds
three french hens
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree.

Is there some significance that most of the gifts are fowl? xD

The band really should put down their version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the first day of christmas
my true love gave to me
a funny song called Othello.

xD I miss the band.. Jiayou for SYF next year!!

the memories
so dear

Thursday, December 30, 2004
5:34 PM
smile!*

Whee. Planning Fun Outing with Guanyu. =) It's so fun to plan stuff that many people should do together but at the moment we only have three people. -_-" That's like. The most anticlimax thing ever. I mean. It's supposed to be a people activity. We need more people. Haix.

So who should we ask. Actually, if the two people who are not confirmed/haven't responded yet actually give us a final answer we'd have 5 people and that'd be enough.. I think. Yea. Only if they can.

I've never heard of anyone getting sick once they step into a cinema. Take that sentance literally. Once they step into a cinema. Wow.

Time? We still haven't confirmed time. Maybe after that we can go lan-gaming. (I'm into lan again.. Oh no. CS is addictive.)

Tuba~!

Haix. Hey let's play something now. Like that addictive Japanese game Sarah introduced to me.

...No. I have to read that website first.. So many entries!!!!!!!!! Gosh.

Well, tata as I go give my eyes a workout.

On the sixth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
six geese a-laying
five golden rings
four calling birds
three french hens
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree.

the memories
so dear

10:53 AM
diaoxxx*

Ni yi wei ji shi quai jiu nen mai dao softcase ma?? Haix.

Even if I do only get the case and borrow the tuba from school, then what happens when I leave school? I only have the case? No tuba? Then how am I supposed to play? Haix again.

Band World has nice tubas!! All besson, though, but I can live with that xD

BE794

BE993

Pretty! =) Only I can't have them ._.

*wails*

Tuba. ._. Haix.

the memories
so dear

8:47 AM
*cough**

I'm still coughing!!!! =( And sneezing, but that's expected heheheh. Still daydreaming about my own tuba xD Ya like I have a 'my own tuba' like that. Teh little dreamer that is me. Hahahah.

Oh please please, please can I have my own tuba~! *puppydogeyes*

Wahahahahah.. Preferably if like that la. But if cannot then

Yamaha tuba also can xD

Someone said that yamaha tubas are better than besson.. I dunno la, as long as it's not rotting away(some yamaha tubas are just disgusting-looking okay) I guess yamaha's okay with me xD I mean.. The past month I've been using yamaha. Not the prettiest of instruments, considering all the dents(gasp) and stuff, but decent.. I'm not asking for like, state-of-the-art or whatever la. I don't even mind second hand la.. As long as it's in good condition.

Next year, it's either I get my own tuba or I learn a new instrument and get that instrument. Either way, I want an instrument.. I know the tuba's more expensive than either the clarinet or the oboe(oboe>clarinet), but it's what I really really want..

You know, for some reason, I've never wanted anything more. =\ Haha I'm attached to an inanimate object!! But then again.. When there's no one I can rely on, I've always found solace in playing the tuba.. Hahah.. If i'm angry, I can just play louder, if I'm happy I can play one of those cutecute melodies the other instruments are always playing(Mag doesn't like that, I know, I do it on purpose lol), and when I'm lonely my tuba's always very nice to hug! *hugs* No matter besson or yamaha.. Tubas are very nice to hug.. =) It's been a constant source of support for me, maybe because I can relate to it.. Strong, silent type(although I'm not very silent haha).. But also depends on situations. Like, if angry, there's loud pieces, strong notes, blah.. It can also be spooky(HAMLET!!!) xD And when it's quiet.. *grins* Who said the tuba cannot serenade people?? It's possible kay..

I absolutely love the tuba.. I suppose if I were playing another instrument, I would be just attached to it as I am to the tuba right now.. Hahah.. Okay but let's not continue obsessing about it.

Whee.. I really really wish I can have my own tuba..

Tuba. =)

Oh Nat. You're dreaming again.

the memories
so dear

Wednesday, December 29, 2004
6:56 PM
philyouth*

Cuiyin, there is a tiny tiny problem about the Philyouth auditions thing? There's a footnote that says: wind instruments not provided.

Tell you what.. Lemme get my own tuba first, then we'll talk xD Or I'll see if there's like a softcase tuba at TPJC that no one's using(yah, fat hope, Nat). Cause there's no way in hell you're gonna make me carry a hardcase tuba around again. No way. Not after the NUS Experience. =x And that was only an Eb tuba with hardcase. I want a tuba with softcase!!!!!! Argh..

Tuba tuba tuba tuba tuba tuba tuba~!!

Or I shall.. Maybe try to learn a new instrument(I wanna learn the oboe/clarinet!!) then talk about auditioning. Yes I know auditions are on the 9th of Jan. I won't be able to make it in time, I know that too.

-I'm such a failure.-

Nat Nat Nat. Can't even meet the basic requirements of an audition, like owning your own instrument. As if TPJCSB's gonna have a softcase tuba lying around unused. ._.

That's why I want my own instrument. I won't have to bother if anyone's using it on the day that I need it, won't have to care about clashes and stuff.

Something to call my own.

Stop dreaming, Nat. No way you're gonna get into Philyouth anyway.

*sighs*

the memories
so dear

3:54 PM
whee*

On the fifth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
five golden rings
four calling birds
three french hens
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree.

Whee.

I love my new little baby penguin soft toy thing =) Cuddling it makes me feel young again xD wheheeheee

And I like this layout, only the textbox is too small =x

I should stop eating lozenges. Too much alcohol gets me high(each lozenge contains 1.2mg of 2, 4-dichlorobenzyl alcohol). Hmm, reminds me of chem. Ahh no good!! =\ Heheheh.

Byebye!!! =)

the memories
so dear

11:03 AM
dots*

Well. I wasn't supposed to be online, not at this time. Because I was supposed to be watching the earliest screening of Phantom Of The Opera, or as Michelle says, POTO. The acronym stumped me there for a moment.. xD It's not as simple as POTC(which could either be Pirates of the Caribbean or Passion of the Christ), or even LOTR(we all know what that stands for). Four-letter acronyms are annoying. Heck, all acronyms are annoying, at least, if you have no idea what it stands for. And needless to say, I'm either fairly stupid or fairly slow. Make your choice.

So when she asked me if I wanted to watch POTO, my first(and natural) response was "Huh? What the heck?"

Maybe I'm making a big thing out of nothing, which I am, now that I think about it, but I just desperately need something to blog about, I'm feeling pensive again.

And so this morning I woke up feeling great not because I'd be watching a movie about some delinquent child growing up to kidnap a pretty woman for his selfish love, but because I'd be seeing my friends. And so fate deals me a cruel blow.

"Ahh, I don't think I'm going."
"I don't feel like going out today."

Now, if I were interested in the movie, I would have gone and watched it myself. But that's just not me. Although I wouldn't mind watching Alexander by myself, and for all the wrong reasons, too. Pity they had to rate it M18, it would have made a pretty interesting weekend movie. And pity people I want to hang out with, especially now, are overseas, where they can't be contacted even. Tis sad, for me anyways.

Other people are fantastically busy with their lives, while here I am rotting away at home. I can't wait for school to start, but I think I must be the only one looking forward to the new school year. Perhaps in school I have something to do, at least. It may also be due to my amazing lack of involvement in any external organizations, music or otherwise. I have never taken it upon myself to do something useful during this month, after the O Levels, and I have never strived for what I wanted to achieve in my music life. I haven't taken up any courses, I haven't learnt anything. It's an amazingly boring holiday.

Perhaps another reason for my boredom is because I'm not involved in band practices anymore. It used to be that every week I would have to return to school at least twice for practices, which, although I continuously complained about, I thoroughly enjoyed. Even after I was, shall we say, 'released' from band practices, it never stopped me from playing the tuba, my one true love, under the pretense of 'O Level Higher Music', which was true, to some extent. I always practiced by myself, and that meant playing stuff I wasn't supposed to play. But it was fun. I loved my tuba, I loved the sound, the 'solidness' of it, the sturdiness, the un-acknowledged importance of it. Of course, every instrument is important, but this particular metal instrument holds a very special place in my heart.

Ahh, I digress.

Even after O Levels, there was the TJ band tune-in to look forward to. In the short span of a month, I grew to love this band that I knew I would soon have to leave behind. I picked up with the Bb from where I left off in sec2, had trouble just grasping the fingering again, but I enjoyed it. Music is such a big part of my life. I worked hard at it, hoping that there might even be a 0.000001% chance that I could make it into TJ, and continue with this band that has such a strong sense of togetherness, a wonderful band spirit and electrifying atmosphere that I fear I may not be able to find anywhere else. Unfortunately I guess that God has other plans for me.. I was placed into TPJC, and I had to say goodbye to the TJCSB in the form of Fiesta: Grafito.

I digress again.. Tsk.

And now, after returning from Hongkong, where I had an undeniably good time, I find myself doing.. Nothing. I have no inspiration to create new blogskins, no heart to put into my stories(which I would like to continue to write), and no strength to go a-wandering on my own. Now, I have even lesser reason to smile(or more, depends on how you look at things). It seems that I'm experiencing 'an emotional burn-out', as someone once told me. I feel listless, tired, wanting nothing except the company of good friends or the warmth of my bed.

Or then again, it may be the fact that I'm actually sick, something that doesn't happen too often.

Next year, I can hopefully look forward to more activities, more involvement, more music, and more friends. I don't care what people think, what people say, but I'll still be joining the band, where my passion for music first bloomed, when I first saw the instrument I would grow to love and play for the remainder of my music life. I know I said in my previous post that I wanted to learn a new instrument, but that's not because I've grown tired of the tuba. Oh, no. It's only because I would like some diversity in my music, seriously. Because my dream is to play in an orchestra, as in, to be a permanent member of an orchestra, whether it is the NUSSO or the SNYO. And despite the tuba's importance in band music, there is a significant lack of pieces for orchestra including the tuba. Instead of just listening to the orchestra at times, the way I did early this year during the NUSSO camp, and subsequently, Rhythms and Rhapsodies. No, I would wish to be a part of the music, not a spectator. I want to play the notes with the orchestra, on an instrument, where feelings can be expressed, instead of sitting in the very last row of the concert hall, waiting for the signal when I would be needed on stage again. It doesn't matter whether I'm in the limelight or just a supporter for a soloist. Everything about the music just feels different when you're on stage performing, than when you're listening in the concert hall.

Maybe it's because you know that all your efforts for the song has paid off. Maybe it's the thrill of being on stage. Maybe it's knowing that you have to do your very best, and nothing less than that would be accepted, for me anyways.

I've always loved the stage. Since I was a little kid, I've been taking part in drama, performed in skits(which have won prizes, by the way). I've been a part of a musical as a member of the choir(amazing but true, now I can't sing to save my life), and after coming to TKGS, been a member of the TKGSSB for four marvelous years. Playing comes naturally to me now. I find it amazing that I have grown so attached to my instrument(or, heheh, my laogong). Some people don't understand that part of me(Peter certainly doesn't.. Haha), but I don't need people to understand. My love for the tuba is, well, I wouldn't say selfless, but perhaps neverending.. I would hope it so. I would love to have my own tuba, something to call my own, something to take care of, something to be mine.

Am I asking for too much? After all, it's not like the tuba is the cheapest of brass instruments. That's also part of the driving force behind why I want to learn another instrument. Something to be mine.

My parents are worried that I'll neglect my studies because of music. Although I assure them that I won't, they still worry. After all, I would be choosing a course next year that lets me do what I enjoy just as much as music - math. I think mathematics is beautiful. I enjoy manupliating numbers and functions, applying different means and ways to solve equations and problems, seeing where it'll lead me. I don't care what other people think, whether they hate maths or.. Just hate math. But math is the building block of everything, even music. Math is required to find out the frequency of a pitch, to gauge the frequency of the next note. Of course, that's all simple math, but the point is the same: everything is built on math. But the math I'm hoping to do will probably be much more challenging, something for me to think about and understand, before applying. People probably think I'm crazy, but if you tell me that the only subject worth doing is physics, I'd probably think you crazy too.

But I digress! This is why I cannot write lengthy essays for History.. Oh well.

I shall stop here before this post gets any longer.

One last thing before I go, though: Long enough for you, Cuiyin? ;)

the memories
so dear

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
4:50 PM
wheeeee*

I wrote so many testimonials today!! Although I think most of them are crap heheheh. So nan de, I hardly ever write testimonials lol.. Wrote for all my jrs =) I miss my section!! And other random people, namely:
Guanyu
Cuiyin
Wenrong
Baowen
Jasmine
Mr Yeo xD

Hmm, who else. xD Busy busy day =)

I don't know if I'm making the right choice. But well, no point regretting now.

I have a crazy idea and will now put it into action. =)

What I have achieved this year(2004)
No. of A's: 3(prelims)
No. of B's: 1(prelims)
No. of C's: 4(prelims)
No. of D's: 1(prelims)
No. of boyfriends: 0
No. of crushes: 2
No. of kisses: 0 from guys, 2 from girls =x
No. of girlfriends(xD): Too many to count - Michelle, Chelsea, Mandy(from Hongkong), blah blah..
No. of detentions: 1
No. of awards: 1
No. of times I skipped school: 0
No. of times I was late for school: 0
No. of stupid mistakes: Plenty enough
No. of times I told someone I liked them: 1
No. of times that person actually spoke to me after that: 0
No. of external concerts performed in: 3
No. of instruments learned: 0
No. of instruments bought: 0

What I want to achieve in 2005
- Good enough O Level results to go to TJ
- Find some way to prevent Ms Sia from dragging me to MJ
- No heartbreaks
- No stupid mistakes like this year
- Make more friends and be more sociable
- Do well in my subjects
- Maybe find some way to get my own tuba
- Practice the tuba so I can be much much better than I am now
- Audition for the SNYO/Philyouth, at least
- Be an outstanding player in whatever band/orchestra I'm in
- Learn a new instrument, preferably oboe/clarinet
- Do more math
- Get involved in more school-related stuff
- Maybe watch my dear juniors achieve Best Band again in the SYF
- Be more reliable and improve my memory =x
- Perform more(I love the stage =) whee)

Yup.. I will keep adding to the two lists as I go along.. But this is it for now. I really really want my own tuba. I don't really mind if it's Bb or Eb, because I can do both. Just don't give me scores for Bb bass, cos I can't transpose and sight-read to save my life xD I want a tuba! ._. But it's so expensive.. Haix. Nevermind, I can keep dreaming.. I believe that one day I will get my tuba =) I can and I will!! Heheh.. But it's not like I'm gonna magik 10k out of thin air.. I don't even mind second-hand! Really! xD Is the cost price of a brass instrument relative to the amount of metal used, or the importance in music? Hehehe..

Well.. That's all I guess.. Maybe I'll blog again later.. Tata!

And yes, methinks I should change blog template.. *sighz*

the memories
so dear

1:37 PM
hmmmm*

Sorry for mispelling your name, Cuiyin xD

Anyway, I don't think I'll be going for the chalet later, sorry.. I just don't wanna go. I mean.. Yea, you should know right? *wink at Cuiyin* Yup yup. And no one asked me to go anyway. Go there will be so extra. So yea.. Forget it la.

I believe there are better people out there. No I don't want a nerd!!!! >_<"

Ohwells.

Don't worry. My posts will become longer with the new school term, I hope. Hehehe.. =)

I miss people. But you're no longer on my list.. Sorry.

the memories
so dear

11:04 AM
weeeeell.*

I now have a gmail account, courtasy of Cuiyin xD

nut.tyc@gmail.com

Mmhmm. Methinks it's time for a sixth lozenge. =\ ehhehehe.

Sore throat!! Gah when will it go awayy.

Cuiyin says I should have longer, meatier entries. Heh. Well, these days it's hard to find something to write about. I mean, nothing's happening! Really. It's so boring..

Chong Loo Kit you're supposed to sms me! Haix.

I asked Loo Kit yesterday if he wanted to go lan-gaming today. He told me that he had to go for band chalet(which Cuiyin's bugging me to go to as well) so I said nevermind. And then last night he smsed me around 11+ to ask if I wanted to go lan-gaming 'tomorrow'. I'm not sure whether his clock was screwed and he thought 'tomorrow' as in Thursday or 'tomorrow' as in today. And up to now he hasn't replied.

Oh, I love guys. *rolls eyes*

I need to find someone to complain about Ms Sia to. xD Her and her absurd requests. "Find a boyfriend in TPJC or come to MJ." Uh nothankyou!! xD And no, definately not a nerdy bassoonist!! No no no no nooooooooooo~!

Eheheheh I feel so lame. Cuiyin do you by any chance have any idea who this nerdy bassoonist is???????? xD

Okayokay. Me playing for NUSSO Huang He concert right?? We need players. Yup. Violins, bassoons(Cuiyin!!!), harp(O_o), trombone.. Heh. Cuiyin if you don't play bassoon then I'll be made to play the bassoon parts!!

At least we have double bassists. xD

On the fourth day of christmas
my true love gave to me
four calling birds
three french hens
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree

I'm starting to think now: how rich my true love must be! xD Okay okay, just kidding.

What true love?!

Methinks it's time to change my blog layout.

Yes, I'm a terribly fickle person. I haven't been making blogskins lately, because I have no inspiration. I know why I have no inspiration, but I'm not about to share that reason with you nyah nyah nyah.

I feel terrible. I don't know, but I feel terrible. Maybe it's sore-throat-induced terrible. Haix.

Forgetting is so hard.. So very, very hard. Maybe going to TPJC will help me forget you. I dunno. I just hope I don't have to endure any more pain..

Haix. Excuse me while I go mope in a corner or something.

the memories
so dear

Monday, December 27, 2004
7:41 PM
>>---------->*

I have been arrowed. By Ms Sia. Oh if you're reading this, by the way, Ms Sia, linked here from I-dunno-where, hi. xD

I repeat, I have been arrowed. The whole afternoon.

Had BBQ just now at TKGS.. =) Trumpet stole my section area. My section gave me chocolates again. I not fat enough is it?!? Hehe.. Anyway. Halfway thru BBQ Ms Sia came la.. Then started arrowing me about why I didn't go to MJ instead of TPJC. Uhm what was I to say? Really what, I dunno how to go to MJ and I don't wanna go there in the first place.. If I had to choose two schools I wanted to go to, it would be TJ and TPJC. Not MJ. =x Suan me the whole time.. She said that there was one time she said that if sec 4s 'cannot go VJ cannot go TJ must go MJ'. Okay, I don't remember her saying that la. Then she say if I cannot make it to TJ after first three months then must go MJ. Unless during the first three months I get a boyfriend in TPJC -_-" I've never heard of such conditions one la!!!! Haha.. Then after that she left me alone for a while..

Had to move the pit indoors because of the rain. *scowls* I don't like the rain.

So we sat in the canteen.. Isolated Fang because she kept hitting people. Oww. =P Then Ms Sia reappeared -_-"

She said she heard that I liked a guy from TJC. So I was like. Uh who? And she said Yaocong. -_-" I died. Fang Xian said Lianwei. I died again. I dunno was it Mag, or Fang, but Jesper's name came up too -_-" And I died a third time. Heh.

Ms Sia after that went on to say that she had this bassoonist in MJC who's very nerdy. She wants to introduce him to me to be my boyfriend. I die again. I say now: I have no idea who that MJ bassoonist it, and I do not like anyone anymore. Get over it.

Wha sit there the whole day let Ms Sia suan me. Well, it's in her name xD

Uh I forgot her email address already lolx.. =)

Sore throat. Fever's gone. I think. Food was. Well. Heh. What can I say.

I'm playing for NUSSO's Huang He performance!! Anyone wanna go?? xD

Shameless. Totally shameless.

ARGH LEMME FORGET YOU KAY?!

the memories
so dear

1:29 PM
heh*

Going for sec 4 band farewell laterx.. Feel tired, sore throat. Think I may have a slight fever.. *groan* Haix.

Well. Must remember to bring section prez. Heh. Can't wait to see what they've thought up for farewell this year.. Invitations indeed. xD

On the third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me
three french hens
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree.

the memories
so dear

Sunday, December 26, 2004
8:58 PM
*

I'M BACK!!

Miss me?? xD

Bet you didn't lol.

Anyway

Merry belated christmas everyone!!

On the second day of christmas
my true love gave to me
two turtledoves
and a partridge in a pear tree

the memories
so dear

Saturday, December 25, 2004
3:37 PM
christmas!!*

Merry christmas everyone!!

Sorry if I don't sound too enthusiastic. Result of posting this only after christmas. xD

Presents!! Wheeheeheee. I sound insane lol. =)

the memories
so dear

Wednesday, December 22, 2004
7:47 AM
whee*

I'm at the airport now!! =) Heh.. Well. Looking forward to the trip.

Although I don't really like the idea of being in an airplane. At least it's a short flight.. Canada was terror =\ heh.

I have a new book yay. Dan Brown's Digital Fortress. Nicenice.. =)

To random people: goodbye, and see you again on 27th!!

Guanyu and Marcus: Sorry I didn't have time to send letters to you guys. Guanyu, I should have your letter by the time I get back from Hongkong, and Marcus, well, I dunno. I'm sorry kay?

I wanted to say goodbye to you.. Because it felt like I was finally going to leave you behind me. But apparently my com was rebelling.. So nevermind.

If you see this.. Goodbye.

Seeya everyone.

the memories
so dear

Tuesday, December 21, 2004
7:48 PM
err.*

I can't believe it. This is the first time I've put off blogging till this time of day. And me being on the computer most of the time too.

Lost/found my ezlink card!! Yay~ =) Heh, looks like you're not the only lucky one, Guanyu.. xD

I must add more people on friendster. I am not as antisocial as you think, I'll show you. *smirk*

What can I say, I'm feeling pensive again. I don't know. Uhh! Well.

I hope you liked that little present, Sarah xD

Hmm.

HONGKONG, HERE I COME. =)

Oh, by the way, I won't be carrying my phone with me, so I'm officially un-contactable unless there's a computer somewhereabouts. =) Seeya people!

Remember to buy something for section, and many many other people. ._. I'll be broke when I come back.

Can I play with the NUSSO again, please please, oh please??

the memories
so dear

Monday, December 20, 2004
10:01 AM
photos*

The photos of Grafito. As promised.

It will take a while to load, be patient, that's all I ask from you.