these are my memories; precious memories.

l 0 v e*]]
is about seeing his faults
knowing his shortcomings
and yet
you know you can't live
w i t h o u t h i m..

*three simple words
*i love you.
*i hope you feel the same way too.

-thanks for coming.
-please leave a tag to let me know you came.
-if y0u don't like what i write, scram.

+by the way, my tagboard is not for you to abuse!
+anything bad you wanna say, say it to my face. thanks.

you, and me.
since o8/10/o5

memories of you and me =)

Saturday, November 27, 2004
5:35 PM
I say*

Sometimes I find it very hard to tell someone how I feel about them or about a situation. Result: I either put it across bluntly or don't mention my feelings at all. Which leads to many, many unforseen problems. I am dealing with one now. Maybe you think I'm quiet, but I'm not. I just find it hard to open up to people sometimes. It's just so awkward trying to get to know new people. And in this world, it's hard to tell who you can trust. Who knows, someone may just stab you in the back one day. No questions asked, no explainations offered. And that's just crap.

Fine. I'm antisocial. But that's just me.

Have you ever been in a room full of people, yet felt so, so alone? Have you ever been in close proximity with someone, and known that he or she could not, would not be yours? Have you ever felt the pain of losing someone you thought dear? Have you felt the sting of guilt as someone you cherish turned their back on you? Have you ever smiled, but felt like crying? Have you ever just gazed at someone from afar, wishing that they would turn and see you? Have you locked gazes with someone, felt so upset that you had to turn away even though not a single word was exchanged across a crowded room? Have you ever experienced a sense of loss when your friend refused to even look your way after a bitter argument that was never meant to happen? Have you ever cried because you loved someone who would never be in your arms? Have you ever felt sorrow because something you wished for never came to be?

I tell you today, I have experienced this. Believe me when I say you do not want to go through all this.

I have cried for things I can not have, even the smallest things that meant so much to me. I'd never have thought I would cry for a person, but I did. And I never thought it would have been you. But you are the reason tears fill my eyes. You are the reason my heart aches with pangs of sorrow and hurt. You are the reason I cannot bring myself to talk to you. You are the reason I do the things I do. You. You.

You touched my heart and took my breath away. You came, and I trusted. You held my heart high, that fragile crystal, and before I knew it, you let it drop. Never asking if you could help pick up and mend the broken pieces. I'm starting all over again. But once a crystal shatters, there is no way you can make it perfect again. Some shards will forever remain missing, and know that they lie in the palm of your hand. You hold the last fragments of my broken heart. You left a hole in me. A hole that cannot be mended, not yet.

A crystal left imperfect. A useless jewel.

A crushed soul, a broken heart.

I never thought it would come to this, but it has. No way to change what has been done, no way to go back to the beginning.

I cry.

the memories
so dear

im waiting for the day.
nat` ;
09101988 ;
16 ;
tpjc band tuba ;
morphobia@hotmail.com ;
cosplayer ;

for you to tell me.
#1tuba
#2bball
#3soccer
#4band
#5piano

that you love me too.
#1new wallet
#2new phone[samsung sgh-e730/e720c]
#3good grades for promos
#4lose weight
#5~~him~~[found him]

escape from reality
dec 05 - eoy @ expo - rhode from dgray man - pending
dec 05 - photoshoot - rhode from dgray man
dec 05 - videoshoot - sara(vampires anonymous)
mar 06 - photoshoot - cocowet from erementer gerad
dec 06 - eoy @ ???? - cocowet from erementer gerad